These are the ramblings and rantings of a nurse. The disclaimer: The emotions are real but the people's names and circumstances are fictionalized and changed to protect their identity. Any resemblance to real life people and circumstances is purely coincidental. This blog was born out of my need to vent my personal feelings and share my professional experiences with death and dying, caring for and saving lives.
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i found ur site in Rose' (sistersalvation) friends list & i got interested with the "Nurse" thingy bcoz my hubby and bro are both nurses too.
i'll be back here for updates. bye for now
. Have a good one!
As I've said before, a family member's illness or death can bring out the best and worst in people. We've seen a lot of the negative repercussions on the media in recent years. It should home in a vital point of being prepared for these kind of issues. You may not need a trust, an elaborate estate plan or even a will. But unless you want a stranger making important decisions for your and your family, there are some things you do need.
If you get in a car accident and die, your estate will be distributed more or less efficiently. Get in a car accident and end up in a coma, and you could be in a world of hurt. Who would be authorized to pay your bills or wrangle with insurance companies about your care? Who would decide whether to sue that driver who hit you -- or shut off the respirator that’s keeping you going? The state will eventually find someone to fill these roles, after a potentially costly and time-consuming court hearing. But it might not be the person you would want. So at a time when you’re most vulnerable, life-and-death decisions could be made for you by a stranger -- or an estranged, distant or greedy relative.
That’s why you need the following documents:
Although courts have allowed family members to disconnect life support from unconscious, terminally ill patients who didn’t express their wishes clearly, judges are reluctant to set a precedent for “minimally conscious” patients. Thinking about these issues is not fun, which is probably why most people avoid it. You have to ponder some of the grimmest circumstances imaginable. Do I want to be on a respirator if I’m conscious? If I’m unconscious? Do I want food and water withheld? How about pain medication?
The person handling your finances may be able to do so remotely, although you may still prefer to name someone who lives relatively close for convenience sake. In addition to paying your bills and handling insurance claims, the person handling your finances may also need to sell your home or make other complicated moves that require more proximity.
There is one group of people who should absolutely, no question, have a will, and that’s parents of minor children. Even if you can’t agree on who gets the crystal, you need to agree on who would take care of your children in the event of your death. No matter how icky you feel about planning for your own demise, you owe it to your kids to spare them the potentially ugly and drawn-out custody battle that could ensue if you don’t make these decisions now.
So right. I just assume my husband or oldest son will do it, but what if they're not available ...